I’ve become very aware that patience has not always been my strong suit and if I envied a trait in someone else, it would likely be this. The ability to wait patiently without feeling immense frustration is a beautiful thing. There are areas of my life where I exercise patience more than others. It also depends on my mood and general disposition but for the most part, it’s a skill that desperately needs attention.
I’ve been consuming a lot of information regarding slow living. I have always been drawn to this genre of lifestyle, cinema, and music. I recently watched a movie that I’d categorize as slow cinema. The movie was directed by a photographer (Wim Wenders) and that shows in the pacing and artistic style, in my opinion. It’s the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. I really dislike the notion that a movie has to entertain you from start to finish with intense dialogue, CGI, etc.
The movie was Perfect Days…for reference.
As I’ve been pondering the virtue of patience, I remembered an area where I exhibited none. I got into the idea of shooting film years ago and while I enjoyed it very much, I couldn’t fully commit to what it entailed. The idea of working yourself through a roll of film versus blowing through seemed like a foreign concept to me. The time allotted from when I dropped off my film to when I received the scans was excruciatingly long and painful. Why did I need this instant gratification from a hobby that was supposed to ground me in a slower, more intentional way of enjoying a hobby?
So, over the past year and a half, I’ve taken my time with a roll of film. I’ve taken 36 pictures with intentionality and plenty of time elapsed between the last… and finally, this weekend, I finished the roll. If I had waited this long to document my life, surely I could wait a little longer to have them developed. But as I went to take the film out of the camera, it malfunctioned and in one second, my roll was ruined and exposed to light. I don’t know if I’ll be able to save a single picture. Normally, this would devastate me. This time, I decided to take a few days to wait and let my emotions pass. Once they had, I’d reevaluate and try to problem solve… if there was a problem to be solved.
Today, I’ll take my camera to the shop and see what can be done. I won’t think about it every day until they email me but I’ll be prepared for either situation. I will choose not to ruminate and wish the time away until I have an answer regarding the situation. I have to apply this logic to multiple areas of life so I can have peace in my life again.
…I’ll report back about my film.