I’ve been working on a creative project but it isn’t fully fleshed out yet. In the meantime, I wanted to take the central idea and write a short piece about that. The other day, I was biking across town and when I say across town, I mean literally from one side to the other and as I turned the corner, I could see the Berlin TV tower in the distance. It was a nice day and I was in a good headspace to think and reflect.
I could probably write a book about all the ways my life has changed since I moved abroad. Some parts would be rather mundane but others would be fundamental, core shifting principles. I say it often but for the sake of the next few paragraphs, I’ll reiterate how much I’ve changed over the course of a year and a half. From my style, to my habits, activities, preferences, routine, etc. I feel like a completely different person in the best possible way.
I was walking with someone on a Sunday when I told him all the ways I had changed and how another version of myself would see this one and be surprised but moreover, impressed. I said “what a foreign concept” when describing my new lifestyle and the idea stuck. My life has become what I would have previously considered a foreign concept and every day I find myself integrating deeper into a different way of living. This is, after all, what I’ve always wanted.
So, as I was riding a bike towards the TV tower, I did a little audit of my weekend and thought, “I’d never have this kind of experience back home,” or at least I wasn’t living a life similar to the one I am now. I’ve been trying to run more often so after work on Friday evening, I went for a run in the park. Following that, I spent the evening at the park with new friends eating Thai food. On Saturday, I biked across town to meet a friend for a clothing swap with girls from all over the world. I was gifted plants that were propagated so I took care of them, too. (I got really cool clothes, for the record!) Afterwards, I biked home, walked around my neighborhood with Russ and my brother, Ryan then made dinner. On Sunday, I woke up early for a morning run with a friend. I ran to the Brandenburg Gate, through the Tierpark and back home. I made breakfast and had a coffee with my neighbor from upstairs. Then, I took Russ to the park, had a Radler and came home. It was, in my opinion, the perfect weekend.
Towards the end of my time in the US, I was working remotely and somewhat of a recluse when it came to making new friends. I had surrendered to the fact that I wasn’t going to stay much longer and couldn’t find a reason to make new friends if I planned to leave. While a practical thought, it didn’t help my day to day life or mental health by any means. As I realize now at 31 years old, I need connection in many forms in order to feel complete. I need physical activity outside of walking Russ in order to feel good or that I’m taking care of myself properly. I need to foster a community and make new friends while also spending quality, genuine time alone with my thoughts and ideas. Slowly but surely, I’m getting there.
The point of what I’m trying to say here is that previously, I wouldn’t have had several social engagements to attend or at least I wouldn’t have committed to them or followed through. I wouldn’t have biked as a means of transportation in most of the cities I lived in, either. I wouldn’t walk to the grocery store, attempt to speak in another language while ordering my coffee or wear the clothes that I do. I wouldn’t (or couldn’t) walk down the street with a beer as a nice weather activity. I wouldn’t have such an active lifestyle or feel safe to run/walk around at night. I wouldn’t make friends the way I do or take risks because my life, at that time, didn’t encourage it. So now, I look at every day as a new way of living and one that I certainly don’t want to take for granted.
What was once a foreign concept is becoming my reality. My job now is not to allow complacency and keep reminding myself that change (big or small) is a part of life and can lead to the actual things you wanted. There just might be some bumps or detours along the way, I guess.