wish you were here

i’m missing birthdays, weddings, babies being born, funerals, vacations, holidays. life is going on without me at home and years are passing by.

i can’t connect my two lives and sometimes i feel insane.

i get the text “wish you were here” often and i send the same in return. i do wish i was there or they were here. i feel guilty for missing big events. i feel cowardly that i haven’t faced going home. i’ll never see my grandma or brother again and i thought i would. i don’t know how to process these things sometimes.

i’ve been listening to a book about love, friendship and family. some of my connections have strengthened with distance and others have faded away. to the ones who make an effort, i appreciate you more than you know. i need to do the same.

(on this note, i need more international stamps to write to you guys!!)

an ode to the people i wish i was with, too. thank you for expressing that emotion to me when you feel it.