When I was in college, I really got into running. I’ve always hated the act of running and found it uncomfortable or boring to some extent. As I got older, though, I found it to be both progress driven and also meditative—if you let it be.
At 19, I found myself running nearly every day after class. I would run in the evening on the greenway next to my apartment with my favorite playlist. I watched my distances increase and felt the runs getting easier week after week. My pace probably wasn’t very good but I was aware of the fact that I wasn’t so winded and my distances got longer on a steady, incremental basis. I ran in the spring and the peak of summer which was particularly miserable but I’d take it over winter running, even still. We’ll see if that changes at some point as I run more.
On December 31st at a small cafe in Berlin, a good friend and I made a pact to run a half marathon together in March. At the time I was optimistic about this goal and I began running (on the treadmill) consistently and watched my endurance increase at an accelerated rate. I started off strong and then February came along which involved a lot of traveling and plans that did not encourage running/training on a consistent basis. I was frustrated with myself but when I was honest about the situation: even if I had been training regularly during that month, I still wouldn’t have been prepared to run the half marathon in a way that felt good to me. And so, I didn’t run in that race.
On one of the said trips in February, I read What I Talk About When I Talk About Running which encouraged me to get back to it. I don’t know if I was scared that by running I would become a “runner” which is not what I have ever sought out to be. I didn’t want to attempt to be fast or set any sort of records for myself. I simply wanted to exercise in a way that required little equipment and allowed me to be outside and think. And voilà, that would be running. So I read Murakami’s approach to running which I found particularly interesting as he’s a novelist and has been recognized for this hobby despite his career. Apparently a novelist is not often a runner? Who knew.
Murakami started running at 33 years old as a way to stay healthy. He logged the amount of miles he ran and ensured this became a part of his every day routine. He talked about simply wanting to finish races in the beginning and taking on new challenges as he became a more seasoned, veteran runner. I don’t know why but the way he explained his approach to the hobby inspired me to pick up running again in a more habitual way vs. one where I’ll measure myself agains’t a clock or another person. With this in mind, I woke up early on Sunday morning, had a coffee, wrote in my journal and decided I’d go for a run. I know my neighborhood well and finding an appealing route was no issue. I set my watch and off I went.
I ran a 5k around my neighborhood and a nearby park which to me, felt like an accomplishment for not running in months. It wasn’t the prettiest run in terms of endurance but overall, I was happy that I was outside and exercising which was my goal, after all. It reminded me of the nights in college where I needed to move my body and listen to music without any human interaction and the peace that followed was hard to match with another activity. Anyway, I’m looking forward to more days outside as I run around the neighborhoods of Berlin and slowly, but surely, increase my distances and ability to feel comfortable in the silence.
I’ll work towards a half marathon but it will come when I’m ready, prepared and comfortable to be challenged. Until then!