i miss having a blog that was hidden away and only known to people i shared it with. i enjoy writing stuff here without worrying about who’s reading it or what they’re thinking.
it’s finally getting warmer and nicer in Berlin. i’ve been going for runs 4-5 times per week and that has helped my mood significantly. i feel disciplined and grounded with my running routine when in so many other areas, i don’t feel that same sense of discipline.
i haven’t been to a gym regularly in months. the idea of fighting for a space when it’s my time to think or unwind hasn’t felt appealing to me. i like the idea of being alone and outside.
i’ve been neglecting my writing a bit. i need to sit down and hold myself accountable and get some of the things out of my mind and on to paper, so to speak. i have essays and an outline for a book i need to work on. i know once i get going it will be all consuming and i’ll enjoy it but the tunnel vision will set in.
on a bad day, i feel a little boring or i don’t have a lot to say anymore . . . but on a good day, i know that’s not true. things are stable and good right now and for that, i’m thankful. i know it won’t always be like this. i know what it’s like when it isn’t.
i do feel that something needs to change but i’m not sure what. maybe it’s changing up my weekly routine or trying something new. maybe it’s taking a class? i’m not sure. but i do know that i have the capacity for a little challenge or exploration.
anyway, this is where i am at the moment.